Bibi's moments to treasure

The Wonders

2011-03-11T15:18:00.001+04:00

They got together somehow in ways no one ever imagined how.

Cruising, fearing.
Trusting by empowering.

There were rainbows missed
When their quality time hissed.

Quarrels there were, which many can be avoided,
If only there were funnels and they can be filtered.

Why cuts when it can be sealed with no buts?
Why buts when they can trust each other with guts?

How far can they go through,
Even when the going gets real rough.

At the end of it, who's left in it?
True friends? Family? The special someone or people?
Definitely not by theft or chance ain't it?

There are these ones who walk the path with us even when the whole world turns against us.
Even if there was just one, you are never left alone.

Gratitude, bottomless,
Appreciation right from the heart with magnitude.

To walk alone or with those you know you can trust in anything?
Will our own world be complete with nothing?
When everything is a full stop,
These are the ones who push and pull us further without asking for anything.

They just want the best for us by picking up pieces of us.

Life is so short to look at the rights and wrongs.
We just got to be firm with rights and grow stronger from wrongs.

Us, our choice.
Freedom of choice and rejoice.

No regrets, no tears, just marching on with loves without fears.

Loves who will not forsake and put us at stake.

It's not being alone in the world, but a caring, sharing, tolerating and loving fold.
Moving forward together, bold.

When love surrounds there's no going on merry-go-rounds.
Love makes each other's perfect rounds.

Love speaks in five different languages.
Are we all trying to learn them like how the rain is collected in the gauges?

What belongs together will not be torn easily no matter how.
Only if the walk consists of each other.... With love.

The wonders of many relationships will flourish,
Only if people make things simple with nourish.

Hoping The Wonders for you will be in soon!

2010 Will Be...

2010-01-03T17:45:00.003+04:00

2009 was dramatic, uncertain and dreadful. Ended in a high but not noted. Just as I thought something great will be happening. Work has shadowed my past few months. It will continue to be the shadow for this year.

I am hoping 2010 will be better in terms of work, love, social life, health and life in general. Needing new paths and miracles to set my years in the 30s with more meaning aims. 2010 will be challenging for me to make decisions in life.

Wishing all of you out there a Happy 2010, with double the health, happiness, wealth, love and fun!

Hate Love

2009-09-20T23:57:00.004+04:00

Our lives are shaped by those who love us and by those who refuse to love us. Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

You tried to block the memory of one to protect self from pain. No matter how, you are just insignificant. What more can you do but let go knowing hurt will be invited anyway. The seeking of simple love becomes so worn out, it eats one up. Thought there is someone who really cared But it seems that one don't know how.

You hate love after many tries. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one person, no different from any other person, wanders into your stupid life.You give them a piece of you. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you. Then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It eats you up slowly. It leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like, 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt,It's a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

The feeling came creeping through and the hurt is still the same. The pain will ease in time and though it's over, the memories at one corner. Will you then try to love again? It ain't love that hurts, it is the absence of it that does. If you cry because the sun has set in your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. So if you continue to let hurt set in your life, your wounds will prevent you from seeing true love. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

To hate or to love... to be hurt or to be love and to love... we all ride on the waves in love. There is true love for everyone. Just in time, not your time... but in time of love, love will set and complete everyone who has faith in it.

DiminishinG

2009-09-01T14:37:00.002+04:00

Sounds and sights, our daily fellowship.
Time and tide, awaiting no one.
Family and friends, that kinship.
Who will be there to be the one?

Diminishing is the directions.
Diminishing is the humanity.
Diminishing is the human touch.
Diminishing is the human hearts.

The path is narrowing,
with much to be swallowed.
The time is clicking,
with much to be completed.

Diminishing... small, tiny to microscopic.
Something to nothing and nothing at all.

Remove, Reinstall, Install

2009-06-30T05:06:00.006+04:00

Miss Bibi has not been diligently updating her blog. What has been happening to her? Too much, too many... As she clicked on today's time, she saw in a month down the road, she will turn 30. OMG!!!

Ever since her return to home, she has been through a series of events. Not very "wootzful" but somehow, she got herself there, allowed it further. She finally takes charge and gladly have herself back for recognition. Slowly but surely, things are going to fall in place. Just a matter of time.

Her current challenge is to kick a bad habit of hers for good. Her current heart - beating - along with someone. Her current worries, main - work - which hopefully will clear up real soon. Her current Her - not too healthy - will try gear away n up. Her current feel on social life - time for a change - hunting down places to chill and gather. All in all - CHANGES to be installed. A need to remove, reinstall or install for a better 30 forth.

Not looking forward to the big 30 somehow, however, yearning to welcome certain events in later life........ hoping......

Oh No...

2009-06-12T14:03:00.005+04:00

When it goes on and on,

We wonder what has been going on.

When it stops and hits,

We wonder what has been stopping the hits.

Oh No...

Here we go again with something to gain?

What is it this time that will be gained?

Here we go running a distance in pain?

What is it that can sustain the pain?

Oh No...

There is plenty and plenty,

Which is then the one in the plenty?

There are many and many,

Who is then the uniquely in the many?

Oh No...

Helpless

2009-04-26T22:28:00.002+04:00

H - Hibernation
E - Exhaustion
L - Lost
P - Powerless
L - Lacking
E - Edgy
S - Sickening
S - Shameful

T.A.S.K. - just for thoughts

2009-04-26T22:13:00.006+04:00

The world is ever changing.
We have to change to move on.
We use not what we used to.
We present not what we were taught with.

Technology, we use it daily for almost anything, not before.
Activities, we dig for new ideas, out of the extraordinary than before.
Systems, we tap on resources, not individual farming like before.
Knowledge, we gather continuously, not just books like before.

Basic requirements for survival in today's society changed.
Are we analysing the changes and adopting?
How does a personal touch sound to us now? An email? A SMS?
Time effectiveness, are we wasting on the disqualified?
Competitive advantages, how far a difference are we from so many?
Learning curve, are we learning to learn, unlearn and relearn?

C-Zone

2009-03-26T21:27:00.003+04:00

How many of us like to be in a controlled zone, more commonly know as comfort zone?

Being in order, having things right, letting events be in the correct zone.

Very often we all pin hopes when in comfort zone.

With ease, everything operates within that safe zone.

Take things for granted and fall then into unknown zone.

Is there amber or red lights for warning before danger zone?

Acknowledge or ignore and drop to tuning zone.

Adjustment and adaptability frame the zone.

What's next that will take place in that zone?

C-zone. A cycle.

It happens. It is unique to us all.

A zone we choose to stay or go.

What is your preferred zone?

Lala Times

2009-03-01T21:50:00.002+04:00

Have you taken a break - I meant by months? I just did for a month and I am already feeling so good - not. First time ever, to try not to hop on to another job after one resignation. Yes, in bad times still. How daring yeah? Coupled with the fact that I have no drive for the next job I want to be in.

Two ways ahead, to go back to what I did or to move to something which is going to create a whole new chaotic world of mine. Decision making used to be so easy for me. Dare to dream, plan to execute, get the job and be on it! Without a dream, my path stalled. My path ahead fogged up.

Many doors are open but the fact that I have no dreams, no dare. The plans to execute are not there and to be on a job - I dare dream - not - which!

Lala times are filled with activities for my brain and emotions. I get tired at times, don't know why, I got drained.

Good news of others make me smile. Tying the knots and sharing lives in future... how sweet. Bouncing the question back to me - dare not even dream.

Lala times are going to be over soon. I need to gear up and move towards a whole new world... will I make it? I don't know. At least I can give it a try, put in my best before I am sentenced the compatibility to my capability.

Slowing Down

2009-02-07T17:15:00.003+04:00

When you keep pacing and racing for no reason,
When you keep wondering about the season.
When you lose the momentum,
When you lose the stamina to drum.
Is it time?

Slowing down for some reason or the other,
Slowing down for some changes to do better.
Slowing down to feel the real,
Slowing down to make the deal.
It is time.

It does not matter,
Till all is sober.
Slowing down, you never know...
What treasures comes with Slow.
Is it time for you to be slowing down?

Thank you '08, Hello '09!

2009-01-11T11:41:00.004+04:00

Walking through 2008 was real quick, 2009 is here!
In less than a few months, my life has been overwhelmed with changes and series of the unexpected. However, I am still thankful for all that has happened in 2008. Lessons learnt, experiences multiplied and moments treasured. I heart my true friends who have been by my side, no matter where, when and how. Thank those people who made a part of life more meaningful.

Towards the end of 2008 marked my farewell to Dubai. A place I love and hate. I am already missing the people in Dubai who went through the past 3 years or so with me. That "gang", my peeps, will hardly be disbanded no matter where we are. That bond is something very special and miraculous. Heart-warming friendship that will forever keep in shape.
My journey started in Singapore again. This time, with many hurdles I hardly know how to handle. Letting things take its own course may do me good as I was so stressed in getting life in order. The unexpected did happen. The "never" happened as well. It was a long journey to finally discover, relate and define. There seems to be a direction that is common. However, only time can tell. Nothing is for sure, nothing is impossible. The key to behold comes from how much you want it and feel for it.

"True love never fails..."

2009 - What will it be like? Where will it lead to? Will walking through 2009 be happier and more meaningful? Will it mark more colorful and precious moments?
Let there be more moments to treasure...

Lost Without

2008-11-30T18:40:00.003+04:00

Before, there were no directions, no love.
World was round the globe, shared with many strangers.
There were many things to think about, however easily ignored.
That alone feeling was hard to swallow, but shared with those on the same ground.
No fears, no tears, just a hiding ground.

The burdens from within cannot be unloaded.
Did not dare to, did not want to.
Led life by days, not bothered to even count.

Till then and there, there was a meaning to not stay alone.
There was a choice, a chance for sharing.
Taken steps back, did not dare.
Through courage, steps made forward.
Hopes were filled, love felt.

Seven hours apart, miles away.
It would only lesson the worry to be closer, nearer.
Decision executed, delivered, in hope of making it easier.

Home sweet home.
Many things fall upon, invisibly.
Tried unloading, tried searching for the right words.
All did not come out right.

Felt a distant, further than those miles apart.
Uncertainties, fears and all laid down hard.
Struggles to find, to fit, to be the best.
No energy, not hype. Just blank.
Expectations from her, work and fears of losing.

Passion decreases, insecurities increases.
Not good enough? No love anymore?
What is really wrong?
Passion very often forms that equation with feelings.

Struggled further, dug deeper, sank and sunk.
Awakened by mistakes, no excuses.
A slap hard on the face, no longer able to hide.
Face it, do it, be responsible and accountable.
The world now is no longer with strangers.
But with people closest to your heart.

What can be done can be done.
With support and encouragement.
With the effort of not fearing failures.
With courage and an identity.

Just don't want this to go on like this.
Just want to know the heart that speaks truth.
If we can, we will make it far, not you, not I, but us.
Leaning on the promises of taking my hands, leading me.
Show me the world you wanted to.

Lost Without.....

What can I do?

2008-11-26T21:47:00.003+04:00

What can I do to make you happy?
What can I do to take care of you?
What can I do to have you smile like before?
What can I do to make you feel from the start?
What can I do to draw that distance nearer?
What can I do to keep you?

What can I do to make it?
What can I do?

Not Knowing HOW2BE

2008-11-21T08:03:00.003+04:00

Used to be assuring.
Used to be WE and US.

Is now wrong or right.
Is now YOU or I.

Not knowing HOW2BE.
Struggling to be the best for US.
Not knowing HOW2BE,
Just searching to be that girl for US.

It is simple.
It is by feel.
Feel instead of trying too hard.
Is that not what formed the beginning?

It was a choice.
It is now the chosen.
It was conditioning style.
It is now boot camp style.

Not knowing HOW2BE,
How not to matter to me?

Not knowing HOW2BE,
It will get better,
As long as WE are together.

Stop

2008-11-09T20:43:00.003+04:00

Stop searching,
Stop right there.
Stop that insecurity,
Stop suspecting everything.

Stop negativity,
Stop clouding.
Stop this feel,
Stop contradicting.

Stop, just stop!

Weird as it should not be...

2008-11-07T03:42:00.003+04:00

Looked forward path,
Where belonging should be.
Weird enough,
is not there.

Looked forward events,
When time can be spent,
Weird enough,
is not there.

Looked forward warmth,
Without having to ask,
Weird enough,
is not there.

Weird that relationships turned cold,
that distance took the lead,
that over time it made everyone strangers,
Weird as it should not be.

What a World..

2008-10-23T20:18:00.002+04:00

The unexpected happenings,
The many crazy headlines,
The financial mess,
The unsettled peace.

What a world we are in now.
What a world it has become.
What a world will it turn out.
What a world will we face?

Fading

2008-10-20T19:27:00.003+04:00

The colours of the once bright and happy rainbow fades.
The sun's rays no longer stay but its warmth now pricks.
The once longed for steering strangely and getting further.
The promised lead to known and unknowns at far.

Don't know if the choice is made right,
Don't know why uncertainties are in echoes.
Don't know what will it become in time.
Don't know that picture painted anymore.

Everything fades in time, there is no escaping.
Just this, not hoping it takes on any kind of fading.

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-17T05:51:00.002+04:00

When I left, I turned back and there were flashbacks of that beginning 3 years back. Saddened but at the same time I kept telling self it is time to be home. That journey I took, I have never regretted. My dream fulfilled. Been there, done that. Bravo!

What worries me now - what's next? I always pursue dreams I set. Now I am lost, not knowing which path to go, what door to open. Worrying will not help they say. Guess being home and letting nature takes its course is the only answer till I discover my next pursue.

That feeling of wanting to be back in the job overwhelmed me as I board the plane. The errands that I had to run made me real tired that I slept having dreams on the plane. . Emotions built up as I arrived into homeland. Home is always somewhere I am proud to be!

Met him... it was after so long to me. A bit strange but yet butterflies filled my stomach. At last, I can be normal and spend time with him. Knowing that I have someone to lean on and talk to.

Beginning October

2008-10-17T05:39:00.004+04:00

Drinks, parties, farewells, dinners and running errands were the activities that surrounded me. What an ending for me here.

I met up with some almost the same group of people every night. That longing of wanting to spend more time with them suddenly crashed upon me. No matter how tired, I pushed self to make events happened. The girls are really sweet and kind. Played good hosts of preparing steamboat and cleaning the place after the mess. Kat and Sean threw a Braai at home for me as well. Sometimes it takes someone to be leaving to make people gather and treasure times together. Drinking was no longer enjoyable after the second night. It became so hard to even smell alcohol. As the drinks got sipped, it then became less noticeable. Of course, once we get going, we could not stop.

Running errands was what I hated most. Not because of anything else but to get from point A to B, it took too much time. Cabs stop turning up. The wait was almost an hour or more each time, while the travelling time took less than 30 minutes. On top of it, the inefficiency of people at work there was beyond what I could bear. The people were rude, dishonest and "stupid" too. With all these, it just reminded me why I chose to go.

Mixed feelings. One part of me really hate the place. My only hold back was the beautiful friends I have. The people made 3 years of my life less lonely, more interesting and most memorable.

What will I be without friends?

Meeting Uber soon drives me nuts. I am so afraid that the distance and time had affected us. At the same time, that insecurity drives the negative thoughts. Of course, the wait is coming to an end and worth celebrating. Just hoping things will go on well...

September Day 30

2008-10-17T05:32:00.002+04:00

Wake me up when September is over! Finally Day 30! The last day of dry nights out there! Tonight we were all geared up to celebrate the end of Eid and the start of non-stop partying.

Finally, we all met up and had a hell of a time together. Though music was not as fantastic, the company was crazy and great! It was meant to be the start of my farewell too. I was "bullied" and "challenged" to take up drinks that each of my friends offered. Mixing is no good. To be fun, I agreed and luckily for me, the orders made were delivered too slow for the after effect to take place. Phew!

Totally enjoyed but got real sleepy at the after party while the girls created short comedies.
This is not it... more nights to be attacked.

September Day 28/29

2008-09-29T19:51:00.003+04:00

Day 28, I was still in a state of floating after struggling to get some good rest. Gave up in the end but to my rescue were Kat, Sean and Edwin! We spent an evening eating, talking and laughing. Someone new wanted to take a look at my place. It is now up to Kat. The new Thai girl sounded too innocent and thrifty. Other than that, she seems pretty pleasant.

Day 29, I spent almost a day packing in details. Now I am only left with clothes that I have difficulty filtering. Which ones to go by cargo? Arghh. Then came my skincare and makeup items. Though I packed them, I got nausea separating them into groups. The question of which ones should go by cargo, which not is killing me. I need to make space for my check in luggage and yet making sure the items in there are what I need initially when I arrive. I really cannot judge how long they will take in delivering the cargo to me. Being a girl, there are so many "I need" items. My boxes are of no news. Soon please...

Caught up with Marcus today. He seems down and lost. Hoping this long term friend of mine will pick up his pieces.

Ramadan is ending. Partying is starting. Looking forward to meet up with the peeps before I really bid farewell.

Uber is struggling in India. No proper Internet in hotel, traffic jams and I can imagine the many more he has to face. As long as he is healthy...

Missing the heartbeats.

September Day 27

2008-09-28T09:12:00.002+04:00

After about 36 hours of staying awake, with non-stop eating. I finally got some disrupted sleep. Not good at all. With AV pain on top of it!

My mind and body is no longer at a normal pace for now. Help!

Guess I will have to force self to bed. Kidnap Zzzz Monster for now to keep recovering!

Missing becomes worrying.

September 24/25/26

2008-09-27T12:05:00.002+04:00

My final to Nagoya. My mind was set in catching up with my sleep there. However, I ended up at the Sky View Lounge in Hilton Nagoya with a few others. Great overview of Nagoya on the 28th. With a great band, we went on with more than just two glasses of beer. I was close to drinking with my eyes closed. It was a great night with fun people at least.

I woke up feeling really tired and lack of rest. Went to the supermarket and then prepared self for work again.

Mixed feelings, final lap. Somehow lost. The fears of many unknowns. I see the coming days filled with tying the ends of the end here.

Missing. Some things are just missing. I wonder and sway but holding on to some faith. The distance is no longer just distance. Distant it has become.

September Day 23

2008-09-24T06:25:00.003+04:00

Pimple, ulcer and what have I? PMS. I hate it most! Especially the constant food for comfort. The aches, tiredness, however sleepless when it draws nearer. Cannot wait for "aunt visit" this time. Just want it to be over and then I can focus on tying the ends here.

Had heartaches moments today after passing some stuff to Kat. She cried and I hugged her, then tears built in my eyes too. Well, time has drawn so close that everything is clearer. To draw attention away from this sad topic, she cooked. Had some sort of seafood fried toast, jello with fruit cocktail and ice cream, pcft late at night. Then both of us caught a girlie movie, "Definitely, Maybe," with good twists, romance comedy. Along with us were lemon mint tea and crackers from Japan. How Girlie!

I was already feeling very tired towards the end of the movie. Slept and woke up after awhile though. Arghh...

Uber revealed his mobile bills. OMG, it is equivalent to a pouch from LV! Due to his overseas posting, there was less time on msn, so phone call was the only communication tool. Luckily for us, it will not be long before all this expenses end. Soon soon, I will be home soon!

From a distance, the way seems long, time seems slow. Missing. Will I recognise and still know him as him?

September 19/20/21/22

2008-09-23T08:28:00.003+04:00

Met Christina on my last to Korea, visited JJ at Hyatt Hotel. A club within the hotel - live band, main hall and outdoor. Drinks were pretty expensive. However, the crowd was a good mix of locals and foreigners, and of different age group.

I went shopping for my mask sheets and walked around the next day. Being sleepless for a few days, I felt as if I was floating. Finally caught my sleep back on the 22nd. I cannot believe myself sometimes. At least I feel better after the snoozing for a day.

I am lucky to say that I will be heading to Nagoya next. Not as happening there, hopefully my colleagues will add some fun!

Counting down to the last lap of September, knowing that it is going to be very tedious running the errands here in Dubai. Just hope I will be blessed with smooth operations.

Cannot wait to be back as well. Though the stress that has been building up is there, I know the love back home will make things right. Most of all, mum will be the happiest this year!

Missing keeps growing. The last lap is here...

September Day 18

2008-09-18T22:48:00.002+04:00

Managed to sleep through till the evening of Day 18. Abnormal sleeping hours compared to back home.

Had the leftover pasta from last night and the tart. Friends Season 9/10 keeping me company.

Am glad Kat and Sean managed to talk things out after a night of negativity. Things do work out with communication and understanding. Applause!

Am counting down to days of returning, yet not. For the first time, I am heading somewhere without a job secure as yet. Maybe I am really tired. I can only hope my next career will allow me to travel as well, or at least, take me up a ladder. My goals setting session will take place soon enough once I settle down back home. Come to think of it. I do follow my action plan pretty closely this year. Except for places where I really want to go. Will I be able to make it with the week left at the end of this journey? Plan as there was, now into unknown. Fear not, they say. Fear not, I try.

Uber and I are not talking as much as before due to timing and work. Guess tuning to it is the way to go. Pretty used to it by now. Long distance takes more effort and patience. However, the sourness of that missing keep beating in that heart.

September 15/16/17

2008-09-18T00:51:00.004+04:00

Low and lowing plus sleepless everywhere I am. I struggled Day 15 and 16, catching up with the much needed sleep.

Day 16 is a beginning for my godson, Rayden. September 16 baby boy. Congratulations brother Roy! Yay, I just cannot wait to witness that growth! I cannot wait to see those pictures too! Hoping that I get back in time for the baby shower!

Came back home from Osaka and marinated chicken wings as promised, with curry powder, herbs, sesame oil and black pepper. When I woke up in the evening, like a zombie, I could smell it from the oven. Kat grilled them and we ate. Mr Sean, the dessert man, made milkshake! Peppermint vanilla milkshake! The peppermint added a refreshing taste to the normal vanilla shake! Dead as I was, I struggled to Aaron's for a so called, belated birthday surprise for him. He was caught in the act! Glad to see him happily settled here, with a nice cozy apartment. I caught up with the usual group and had a few drinks, eyes half opened. Made it back and snoozed.

Woke up after a few hours, belonging to space. I took my panadol to make me sleep through till late afternoon. Day 17 began with visitors! I was glad I slept before they came. Yan came and took a look at the apartment. Probably taking over my room. Edwin happened to be in town and dropped by to spend some hours listening and laughing to our crappy jokes. Sean cooked, pasta and made peppermint crisp fridge tart again! I licked the remains of those caramel cream. YUUUUUUUUUUM, finger licking good, Yan and Edwin joined in too, without being able to stop. HAHA, welcome to the sweet tooth world! Had a few glasses of wine, took some silly pictures and spent the evening easily.

Glad Uber is safe and sound back in homeland. Was pretty worried of his travelling in Thailand. Guess it is not that bad there after all. He must be exhausted. Hoping he will get good rest for now before he heads to work again. Missing is such a test for now. Will we be able to make it there?

September Day 13/14

2008-09-15T04:15:00.003+04:00

Day 13, had some long laughing moments with Kat. We were like kids playing and laughing our hearts out. She made breakfast, lunch and desserts for me. Meow the personal chef for a day! Star-shaped pancakes, chicken, bean curd and our love, jello!

Day 13 into 14, my sleep is beyond description. My body system is in a mess. Feeling low, something within is just not right... Just a natural reaction I supposed.

Had new found favourite cup noodles! Milk tea was great too! Feeling like a zombie, I tried my best to make self comfortable in bed. I slept, however, awake after 2 hours. Then I tried again. My body is telling me that I need more sleep. More rest. SO irritated with self!

Missing has become intolerable at times. Not good.

September Day 12

2008-09-13T01:08:00.003+04:00

I kept dozing off. However those few sets of 10 minutes rest was hours. Now I am wide awake, with milk tea and carrots in my stomach. I have been munching whenever I am sleepless or tired. How bad can that be? My yoyoing diet is such an enemy.

I found out my ex-colleague is pregnant just by guessing from her MSN tags and picture. Am I the only one left now? Arghhh, this can be stressful.

MR episode 33 is out. However, due to my slow connection, I could not download it at all. Friends is accompanying me now. Season 8, hilarious! Hoping I am able to fall asleep real soon. Heading to Osaka without much rest in a day. My camera is not responding to a charged battery. What is wrong with my belongings? Out of order just like me.

Missing leads to my days of counting down. Heart gets a little weak at times. How near will soon be?

September Day 10/11

2008-09-12T10:27:00.003+04:00

Spent these two days in Paris. Weather was great. Sunny yet windy. However, all I did was drink, eat, sleep and catch up with MR episodes.

Wine and bread are my favourites there. Had both to the fullest content. Not to mention the diet I am supposed to stick on, gosh, STOP EATING, will I? Got to know a few colleagues, about what is currently going on in their lives, just by sitting there with them for a few hours. Sad to say, the younger ones are settling down before me. Rings, proposals and future plans. Happy for them yet sadness filled a little in me. Cannot help that feeling of longing too.

Caught up with MR episodes and I cannot wait for the next to come! Before I left the place, I realised I lost my ear phones. Poor me, with nano but without my music. Must have dropped it somewhere in the hotel. Though I went back searching, it was not anywhere in sight. Looks like my days are going to be more lonely.

Had some silly and real fun at work, posing and making a male become female. He looks good in lipstick though! Moments like these into memories.

Missing the warmth as distance continues its way. When will I, when will we?

September Day 9

2008-09-09T22:13:00.003+04:00

Struggled to bed after I had my medication for that strange scary pain. Was in dreamland when the phone rang at noon. They sent a technician to check on my connection. Connection is fine. Why is browsing that slow then? As usual, here, everything and every time you get, "Don't know." Patience is one key to live in this seemed fast but snail-slow efficiency place! Anyway, I cannot do much as well.

Cooked chicken curry as requested. Then Sean prepared Peppermint Crisp Fridge Tart. Filled with caramel condensed milk, chocolates and peppermint with crust. Amazing!

All I did today was trying to watch MR episode 28, took me a day to download. Apparently, episode 29 will be a problem to watch as they removed it from site. Trying other sites suggested but gosh, the bar is not moving! Buffer.................. I packed, ironed and spent time with facebook!

Kat kept repeating today, "Bibi, can you don't go?" I choked every time I hear that, all I can do is to change the topic, ignore or pass with a "Ah-huh...ok..."

Uber is superbly tired with this new job. More brain juice to churn he claimed.

Missing our routines together, moments of us gather.

September Day 6,7,8

2008-09-09T01:27:00.003+04:00

Internet went that slow that I had to call and complain after an hour of technical troubleshooting. After about 10 hours of wait, finally it's back to normal!

Day 6 and 7 were pretty much the same. Home, spending time with Kat and Sean. How I envy the PDA, making my days even slower before I get to see Uber. The couple decided to cook. I was really sleepy while waiting but managed to crawl out of bed to spend the very little time left with Kat. Laksa with pasta replacing the traditional noodles. Not bad at all. Sean whipped up custard, jello and added peaches. Along with carnation milk, it was sinful yet fulfilling!

Day 8, I woke up feeling wrong. Said some things I should not, and felt I was really silly and all in all, abnormal? My insecurities has never failed to leave me after all these years. It sometimes punches me in the face. I start to wonder if I am suffering from periodical depressions. Guess being independent overseas is not that fitting for me after all. One of those signs that keeps reminding me to head back. Then again, I am such a thinker, place no matter. He has been so patient with me which makes me feel bad at times. After all, he did nothing to deserve my uncalled for sad blabbering. His constant assurance fills my world up. His thoughts, questions, words just hit my heart and mind. His understanding and flowing of how I feel is scary at times. Is he my soul-mate? Love is a choice... a chance given, a space given... Am I being too serious or just not confident? Scared to be hurt or lose that someone again? Thinking too far of what I want vs what will happen? Pinning on too much hopes vs another dream not true? What come may...

Came back from work and slept after 20 hours of activities. Woke up to receive Uber's shaver and went on to the supermarket. Cooked chicken curry and my friends came over. Had a few hours of laughter. Of course, questions of, when you leaving, what you going to do, have you found a job, were common. Lost is how I feel. Not to worry is the echo. My pillar, his voice. Kat is back from work too. Day 9's menu planned, chicken curry for me to play with again and Mr Sean's custard and jello!

Yay, MR episode 27 done, 28, am going to finish this episode and hopefully fall asleep. I am tired yet my mind seems to be running worlds. With that pain attacking on and off, hoping the walls of my stomach is still healthy enough to last.

Leaning towards falling into those arms again... missing those times...

September Day 4/5

2008-09-06T00:34:00.002+04:00

Internet connection is crawling on my side ever since the 4th. No idea why, it is so in this building I am staying. My days got much longer without a proper working connection. I could not continue the episodes of those drama as downloading was impossible. Luckily, MSN is still in function. To spend my slow days, I used FIBI (my VAIO laptop) and marathon with Friends, Season 6 now.

Woke up this noon and learnt that Kat cried again in bed with Sean comforting her. I could understand how she feels by putting myself in her shoes. Imagine the silence, the emptiness, in this once crazy, fun, loving, laughter-filled house.

I got the boxes, not as big as I wanted. Kat and I did a silly thing again. We got ourselves into the boxes and took a picture of it. YES! Kids we are! Thereafter, I managed to pack my shoes, bedsheets, covers, mats into two boxes. Wrapped my fragile stuff with magazine pages and placed them aside. Placed my earrings and accessories into a box. Kept the candles in a shoe box as well. The random photos I have are set into an album book. Phew! I got a long way to go before the room turns really empty. Hopefully angels can send me big boxes for my clothes! I wonder how my mum will react if she knew that there are additional stuff on the way to my already choked room.

My nose stopped running. My nasal voice is still present. My tummy disagrees with me. Been running to the lav twice. Signs of my abnormal body is irritating me slightly.

Missing him is not just killing me today. That insecurity kind of waved at me. The distance, the unseen, the unknown, the silence, are attacking the pillar of security. I just had to think positive. Missing makes a part of my everyday. It walks with my loneliness, like invisible shadow of his.

September Day 3

2008-09-03T23:41:00.003+04:00

Could not sleep as well but managed a few hours when others are in their offices with their routines. Wonder what my routines will be like in the near future.

Kat came back home this morning before I slept. Really happy that she reconciled with her soul mate. This time I really hope their future plans ahead will come true. Dropped her sort of a farewell note on facebook and she read it. The after effect was not immediate and not directly in front of me. We had rosti and sausages together. Somehow the unspoken sides can be felt. Could not really go into details of my packing just to avoid the flow of sadness.

Checked on my duties, nothing exciting as yet. My packing is not progressing that much. I guess I will make it a point tomorrow morning to get the boxes somehow.

My day begins with drama as usual. Moonlight Resonance episode 25. Survivors Law II so far has been good but still nothing beats MR.

Missing from a distance, feeling away, sensing from afar, longing to be with...

September Day 2

2008-09-02T20:06:00.003+04:00

Though bored, I have been resting enough to slightly recover from the flu that has been bugging me for a week. Till now, I think I am immune to the flu tablets. No longer that drowsy. Another 2 days on roster to rest before I head for work again. Still hoping very much for a change of duties.

Got some photos sort out from the recent Seoul attack. Uploaded them onto shared networks so as to share with my friends and kick some updates in. A day of washing took place too, bedsheets and clothes. Placing all the bedsheets and bedroom stuff aside, gosh, another pile to bring home. I really wonder where I can get hold of those big brown boxes to slowly put items in order for shipment. Shoes, bedroom stuff cleared to a side. What's next will be my skincare products and cosmetics. Getting scary though. Clothes and ornaments have to wait a little longer.

I completed Catch Me Now, total of 20 thrilling and funny episodes. Moonlight Resonance at episode 24. I got hold of Survivors Law II, hoping it will brighten my 2 more days in sand land.

Missing someone makes my everyday seemed longer. Soon, closer.

Down the memory lane...

2008-09-01T23:08:00.004+04:00

As I sat down in this once unfamiliar empty room,

I realised three years passed by in a zoom.

The day I arrived here was such a lost,

That feeling was like being kidnapped, almost.

Training, tests, exams and practicals,

Studying, gathering, eating and drinking.

The real thing started with some fun,

At times, we all feel like throwing bun.

As I settled in, homesick runs after me,

Days, weeks, months and years now for me.

Luck was not with me as many should nots hit me,

Till I completely lost the faith in giving the me.

Down this memory lane, where one of my pursues turn real,

I visited many I wanted to and turn the bubbles real.

Though there is always something missing out there,

I have at least been there.

There was always a chase of time,

I do hope I can do more next time.

I met many good friends and painted times red,

Without these people, I turn to only my bed.

Down this memory lane,

There are many that words and pictures cannot replace.

There are moments and paintings laid just there in my memory,

Taking them with me, down the memory lane...

September begins

2008-09-01T16:07:00.003+04:00

Just as I ended my blog, my Internet connection went crazy the whole afternoon yesterday and recovered this morning on Teachers' Day! Happy Teachers' Day!

My September begins with quite a shock. From a known schedule to 10 days of unknowns. How helpful can they be? Changes wanted made by placing unknown duties when I can get rostered for pretty good ones. What to do but to hope for the best. Went into a mood of packing, since I am left with 4 weeks. Unknowingly, there are still so many items to pack and go! 15 pairs of shoes to go, a cupboard full of clothes, belts, scarfs, gloves, bags, make up items, skin care products, ornaments, photos, electronics... name it, I have it! Just hoping that I will be able to bring these back with a few more trips before due date.

August ended with Moonlight Resonance Episode 23, looking forward to the next! Thumbs up!!!Catch Me Now is another I am currently watching along with medicine and lots of liquids.

Oh ya, coincidentally, my Uber has his MSN tag as "Wake me up when September Ends," (for him I guess is my return then), which was what I intend to use for the blog ending September, follow-up from yesterday's. I wonder at times how much alike can we both think.

Another day of getting my energy back with eyes fixed on the duties I can hopefully get!

Wake me up when it is September!

2008-08-31T12:37:00.002+04:00

After going through the fog, as dense as the greens in a forest, I think I have settled for something from within my heart. I know I am going to miss the past few years I spent, at the same time, I am so going to catch up with those human moments I have missed.

Life is not all about self after all. Many times, friends tell me, "It is time to think for yourself." True as it is. However, what will my life me without others I heart, love and care for? I struggled with a decision, for a year or two. I asked myself, how long can I do with just me and the occasional my dearests and I. I asked, a carefree versus a stress-more life, a chaotic versus a healthier lifestyle, a lonesome versus a warmth surrounded soul... etc. Imagine the 'ding dongs' I went through. Ultimately, home is where I belong, where I can continue to grow and glow.

My decision was executed. Wake me up when it is September! One day to go! Actions will slowly roll in. Distance will slowly minimise.

MOVIE WORLD

2008-08-19T03:38:00.004+04:00

Brisbane - sunny yet cold, with constant wind that sends chills. Anna and I decided to make a trip down to Movie World, Gold Coast.

We took a train from the city. Along the way, we had doubts that we were on the right track. We were busy catching up, ignoring the platform information and where we were heading. We headed on the right track nevertheless, the bus shuttle to Movie World caused us to stand in the windy condition, jumping around to keep warm.

Once we arrived, the kids in us sprang alive! We were hungry for food but the rides took the hunger away. We went straight on the SUPERMAN Escape, something with speed and height! The adrenaline shot right through! the ride with screams and laughters. Then we headed for Shrek 4D Adventure. One cool experience, with spiders crawling down your legs and non-stop horse rides in a dark theatre. Thereafter to Scooby-Doo Spooky Coaster. The interior filled with that familiar funny voice and unexpected turns on the coaster! We had our hands up all the way just to add to the excitement.

We were then just in time for the parade on the main street. The familiar characters of WB, and superheroes. What I wanted was to take pictures with the characters, which was not available somehow. Disappointed slightly. I want to hug my Tweety and Taz! We then decided to eat but when we saw yet another ride, we went for it. The Wild Wild West Falls Adventure Ride. Beware - U get real wet! Reverse turns, high drops from the tops, we ended up wet! Cold and wet, we finally settled down for food! Kid's meal, with batman's mask as free gift! We gave the masks away to little ones after posing in it. We then walked around at the Kid's Fun Zone and headed to shop for a few things. Time flies when we all are having fun!

It was a fun time just for Anna and I. Though my camera went flat at the very beginning, I had Anna's to capture those few moments. If only the characters were there... and it was less windy to pose for more! A must-try, SUPERMAN Escape!

Holiday and then?

2008-08-07T15:32:00.006+04:00

What contributes to a great Holiday? The factors are all different for us. For me, it is the quality time I get to spend with someone discovering the place, sharing the food and doing the shopping together. This holiday did allow me to rediscover someone dear and also self. Nothing beats a break from the routines, familiar sounds and environment, right? Besides, this time, everything was planned for me. What more can I ask for? Uber, "the pillars" in my life, how lazy can I get from now? LOL. Though I am still independent as a "little girl".

Moving on to another chapter of life it seems. Still a fog out there for me. What's next is a BIG question mark. SOS! I am starting to feel choke at times. Whatever it is, I kept weighing the time I am losing with my precious ones. Is this yet a calling for me to return or just a form of missing dear ones? In time to come, I will know, and everyone else will come to learn about my final decision. Scary... drum rolls... till the next update!

Sorry folks, just no time for details at the moment.

Lives in a Different World

2008-07-12T12:40:00.004+04:00

A small airport with minimal.
Roads with traffic busting in congestion.
Traffic lights disregarded by many.
Lives of people pace on.

Vegetation on pieces of land.
Various fruit plants scattered along.
The sight of red land, rich in minerals.
Lives of people strive on.

The lack of proper infrastructure.
The slums as main housing for many.
Jobs of any to self provide a living.
Lives of people go on.

The lives of children as adults.

The lives of simplicity as happiness.

The lives of poor in richness.

The Lives in a Different World.

Style and Individuality

2008-07-02T04:02:00.004+04:00

Style is defined as - A quality of imagination and individuality expressed in one's actions and tastes.

Individuality is defined as - The aggregate of qualities and characteristics that distinguish one person or thing from others.

I expressed my views on this few years ago and pretty recent this year. However, what really pricked me was seeing it happening again, slowly but with confirmations that I was not too sensitive.

I am not saying that I set trends in my world. I wear what I feel most comfortable in and what brings the most out of me. Taking my own style along with my individuality. It is me. Those who know me, can roughly guess what I normally wear. From my casuals to party wear. There are a few brands that I am totally into and I take them along all these years. What is in fashion may not be suitable for you and I. They can be regarded as references to be updated somehow. However, the style that you owned is who you are. We may like the same things, even buy the same piece of thing, however, the individuality remains.

I should spare the details as it can be rather sensitive. I just feel that my style has been carbonised and reflected like a mirror image, right there in front of me. I cannot make a statement to say it was CC. After all, everyone has a right to dress the way they want.

My only consolation is that an individual carries their own statement. Though carbonised, the other hardly brings it out, it does not belong and match. Am I saying all these just to comfort self? It does not fit that style and individuality of the other.

I hope you guys out there are not experiencing what I have been. If you are, I totally understand that stir of feelings and imbalance of emotions.

Style and individuality, is yours truly.

What Could Be?

2008-06-19T02:28:00.004+04:00

Beyond that wall, there could be something worth a call.
Beyond the unknown, there could be things without frown.

Unlocking the code is never easy, it makes the stomach goes queasy.
Unlocking that courage is not to barge, it takes time to take charge.

Hearing that heart beats again, wonders of its begin.
Hearing the little joys of quality, forgets of what's quantity.

Beyond the time, what could be?
Beyond that hope, what could be?

Summer for You and I

2008-06-14T22:47:00.003+04:00

Nature is springing to life as Summer sets in.
Lives of many changing with the heat within.
On a sand land, heat rises up beyond a bearable point.
Beds of water swaying with glitters of energy joint.

Colors of summer hits the fashion runway.
Breeze at summer must not miss its way.
Smiles of students with great long summer holidays.
Celebration of festivals are all lined up for days.

Many may miss the comfort weather of Spring.
Others, out to play, with sun products in caring.
What have you missed last Summer?
Will this season be filled with colors for even a roamer?

Let this Summer be a fusion of joys.
Joys that stays on to rejoice.

Our first Summer together,
Will there be many of others to gather?

Yet Notz

2008-06-14T07:28:00.004+04:00

The surroundings becoming a routine, yet not.
The people of the same, yet not.
The work with similar flow, yet not.

The years spent were just like being yesterdays, yet not.
The number of people that stay by your side, numerous, yet not.
The decisions made set paths, yet not.

Yet nots, there are plenty.
To face them can be hard facts.
To accept these facts, learn.

OOopps!

2008-06-13T03:11:00.003+04:00

Missing! OOOpppsiez!
Well, for those who have been trying to get me day and night, with no response from me, my apologies. I have been sick 50% of the time since May started. On top of it, my work schedule is terrible even till date.
Food posioning, fever, flu and cough. Non-stop travelling from one place to another. Sometimes as I open my eyes, I get lost with which part of the world, and in what time zone. My MSN may be on and I may be home, but the energy level was near to zero. Probably age is really catching up!
Thank goodness, I have Kat with me. Though this may be short-lived, I guess, it's never too late too have a flatmate like her! Same frequency of madness!

Anything new?
Decisions after decisions. What come may? The date of my return is drawing closer! The fears of many things in life kinda eats me up at times.

Till my next, shall really catch a nap before I start my hectic "smiling" job again.

Past, Present, Future

2008-05-22T02:32:00.007+04:00

Picture the growing stages of a baby. The many can dos that everyone looks forward to. For example, the first few steps of one. Standing and falling will be common in order for those little steps of success. Each little step forward brightens the faces of many, who celebrate the growth. However, as a child goes to school, many parents tend to forget the importance of these little steps that a child or anyone will need. Blaming the child for not getting the results they wanted, although there seem to be improvement. Putting the child down even more when failures come along the way, instead of showing support. How helpless can a child like this be? How many of us wish time will be future as a child just to prove them wrong? As adults, we still meet failures along the way, do you then wish time to be the past, present or future?

Moving on for some of us may not be easy. The pains that we may have experienced may not be felt or understood by any others around us. However, with support, we make it through the stages of pain. But do we actually move on, or hang ourselves in the past? Do we support ourselves with the past or present and future? Do we compare what's past as past or what's past as present and future as well? Do we want to celebrate the present and future? Do we look forward to time in time to come? Take little steps to discover the present, the future will unfold. What's past can only be in memories. They are like books of your own faith, you learn, reflect, refer to them, you live with it but not in it. To live life in these books of memories, will they get you far? Blaming self, putting yourself down, will you feel any better?

Will past bring you happiness compared to the present and the future?

Stood, fell, injured.
Tried, anticipated, disappointed.
Taking little steps up the rack,
Moving forth and back.
Far is where it is,
Here is where it still is.
What takes,
No one knows.
What will it be,
The answer is of no guarantee.
Past is past.
Present and future,
They are still a must.

With You

2008-05-14T04:47:00.003+04:00

With you,
Days are like in summer, with sun shine and breeze that lift moods.
Even when it rains, the rainbow does not fail to fit magical appearances.
Nights are of sparkles, with the moon and stars that keep sleep away.
When it turns cold, there is always some tingling feel of warmth that sway.

With you,
Smiles and laughters are busy.
Frowns and tears are easily ignored.
Time is wishing it can stay longer each day.
Life looks forward to more moments shared.

With you,
Words find it hard to express.
Conversations run marathons.
Mind stays with thoughts.
Heart chases after decisions.

Just for Tots

2008-05-13T05:10:00.003+04:00

Ever wonder if you belong to the right place? Happy? To be happy is where your heart is.
"Where so ever you go, go with all your heart."

Away from home? Far from love ones? Fret not! There is always a special place in heart.
"Though miles may lie between us, we are never far apart, for who matters, does not count by the miles, it is measured by the heart."

Kodak moments! What if batteries run low? What if you have no evidence of moments?
"Memories are the best souvenirs."

Very often, we find it difficult to express, especially to the most dear ones. It takes courage, once you do it, the wonders of the verb envelops. Words and actions place wonders.
"Love is a verb, an action word. Sometimes, passive because it happens to us, but also active, because we choose to do it."

If you are still wondering...
"You know you love someone when you cannot put into words how they make you feel."

We keep looking for the right one. Not knowing who is right, we keep trying and failing. Why? No matter how right the person is, it takes two in a relationship. When two becomes one.
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

5D4N HKG

2008-05-08T14:40:00.006+04:00

Day 1 : Kimberly Hotel - Kimberly Rd, Tsim Sha Tsui (TST)
Nite 1: Carven + Infadels + Fong Underground, Lan Kwai Fang (LKF)

Day 2: MetroPark Hotel - Causeway Bay
TST, Ladies Market, Mong Kok

Nite 2: Fong Underground + Sugar, LKF
Yummiez: Yung Kee - Roast Goose + Century Egg
Yue Wah - Wanton Soup + Tea with milk

Day 3: Disneyland
Nite3: Volar, LKF
Yummiez: Nui Wang Xing, Jordan - Steamboat

Day 4: Avenue of Stars + IFC + The Peak
Nite 4: Solas, LKF
Yummiez: Dim Sum
Kee Wah - wife cake" (flaky pastry with winter melon paste) + walnut cookies
Pearl on The Peak - Fine dining

Day 5: Times Square + Sogo, Causeway Bay

Most frequent MTR stations : Tian Hou, Central, Mong Kok, TST
________________________________________________________________
This trip with Benny, Casey, Jady, Joe, Simon with Kie who joined on Day 4, was amazingly enjoyable! We planned this in February and got it executed without fail.

The first day I arrived was in fact considered a night. I met my "junior" with her little teddy from the time I met Uber. She's really cute! She sings, talks, laughs and screams! Then I dropped my luggage's, and met Uberly flowers in champagne colors. I was totally "touched-attacked" by this sweet act. Next, we zoomed to the busy, lively street of LKF. Being more "thirsty", I managed to ignore the food that night. Macallan was the company for us that night.

The next day I woke up, I could only breathe in the remains of what I had the night before. Nevertheless, had wanton soup and funny tasting ice coffee at a nearby cafe. Headed down to MetroPark to link up with the rest. Those familiar faces, could not help but feel so home. Issues with the reservations had us ended up with a tiny room, and two executive suites, all on different levels. That did not keep our spirits down. We charged out to have lunch. Thereafter roamed the streets in TST. As we roamed, Uber got duck tongues from a savoury snack shop. They are addictive! Mango dessert was a craved-for item for all of us. Thus, we had it and popped down to Ladies Market in the evening. Was pretty disappointed with the things they carry now. Nothing sighted was pretty! Then we came upon Elmo... hee.. and of course I was "elmo-nised". Joe got the CJ7 softy. Dinner was marvellicious! The century egg, melts in your mouth not in your hands! Roast goose was slurpz with the plum sauce they gave. Have it with chilli, it goes well too! At night, we met up with a few local friends, Tiki, Jamie and Ah Bi along with their male friend... From Fong, which we enjoy more, to Sugar, with younger crowd, lousy music. It's the company that matters, we went on with drinks along with some fancy shots! Night ended with yummy wanton soup at Yue Wah. Oh ya, the tea cup was very pretty attractive, though kind of out of place in that cheena restaurant along with other utensils they had. Lights out for the next early day... excitement for the little kid in me!

Rinnnnnnnnnng! Alarm! Time for Disneyland! Yay!!! While I was still blur, I discovered something while spending time with my "companions". The Elmo I got from Ladies Market has a tiny device, when pressed, "I'm Barbie girl...", the song is so out of Elmo's world, nevertheless, Ah Beng is his name now. I got out of bed and waited impatiently for the rest to get ready. Took the MTR, when I saw the disney choochoo train, the little girl in me sprang alive, but I had to keep it down in case I scare the rest. Drizzles came along to play but that did not keep us at bay! At Tomorrowland, we took on the thrilling high-speed roller coaster, Space Mountain. The interior was quite an universe, speed was not in the kick though. Next was brunch at Starliner Diner, fast food joint! They had gloves provided for eating fried chicken. Pretty weird though, not being able to do the finger licking good! Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters is an interactive adventure in which you help to shoot the evil ones! Either I was not aiming that well or there must be certain way to really shoot at those crosses in order to score!

We made our way to Fantasyland, walked past the Mad Hatter Tea Cups but dropped the idea of being spinned after brunch. Headed to Mickey's PhilharMagic, given special yellow big spectacles for the 3-D adventure. Very creative, sense of smell and touch are involved too! Rain decided to make us stay in the shop after the show. I went in search of something for Kat, keeping down the temptations of buying things I won't use or need. Walked round and round just to wait for the rain to go away! Little children want to play! Oh, I tried on the Minnie Ears hairband!

Down to Adventureland, took the Jungle River Cruise. Be prepared to get wet a little! Had a little tea break at River View cafe before we headed back to Fantasyland once again for photos with the characters! It's a Small World was not ready as yet so we captured just the entrance of it. Before entering Sleeping Beauty's castle, the Disney parade was on! Took a few shots before heading in. The entrance led to Cinderalla Carousel, the prancing horses brought back memories and scenes of some Korean drama. We greeted Dumbo the Flying Elephant too. We took photos with Mickey, Minnie, Chip and Dale in Fantasy Gardens. Thereafter we headed to Main Street U.S.A. for last shopping gets while waiting for the photos to be processed. Not forgetting to mention, my search for Boo was throughout but managed to find only lonely Sully! Uber really resembles Sully in some ways when JD mentioned. Photos were done after some time and I took on the ones with Mickey and Chip N Dale. By now, we were all tired and looking forward for a good dinner! We walked out of the land of magic, with memories for keep sakes! Oh ya, I got myself two magical coins too! Overall, it's a small disneyland compared to others in the world. However for a first timer like me, I guess it is magical enough for me.

We went to Jordan for Steamboat - Nui Wang Xing! Had amazing beef slices, cubes and meat balls which are the must-tries! Others include the usual stuff at steamboat along with weird things like, goose liver? Headed back to the hotel for a good warm shower before heading to LKF for the night.

Volar is a cool place, not as big as I thought. The main hall's music was HOUSE! Finally in HKG, something house compared to the RnB I have been hearing. We got into our vip room and the first thing that strike me was the hot pink matchbox! A must take and keep! Matchsticks were black and pink too! Night went on with Macallan and Tequila Rose. We had a high doze of fun and madness as the corner was for us to abuse. Others in the room looked on, they must be envious of the ideas we had for that night! Went back to the hotel, tired from all the clubxercise we did. Lights out for the next day, glad to see my "companions" comfortable in bed too!

Dim Sum Day! A must have in HKG! Well, the 7 greedy of us ordered 22 plates of all sorts. Was full to the maximum! I had to have my yam paste dessert at the end of the shuffle just to melt in good old days! Headed towards Avenue of Stars. Avenue of tourists I must say, especially from China! Those hand prints on floor bear names that are familiar to my mummy's generation. We then took the chance to take the ferry, hit to IFC for some shopping. At Kee Wah (pretty famous), the range of traditional pastries and cookies they carry came in presentable boxes. I got wife cake for Kat and walnut cookies! We then needed coffee before heading up to The Peak for dinner. The bus ride up was slow due to the traffic in the evening. By the time we got up there, the wind and cold took a head start. We found Pearl On The Peak! Once we stepped in, the see through glass panels took the attention away. From in, you can have the almost perfect view along with a romantic dinner! Pretty much like Equinox in SIN. The western food is not fantastic at all. Ambiance and view are the key selling points. Though it was cold, we managed to take a group photo and others along with it. Descended from the peak and headed to LKF just for a chill out session at Sugars. Due to the not so delicious dinner, we had to go for supper at Yue Wah again. Wanton soup attack before we head back for a last-night-in-HKG rest. Packing took place with nagging of not enough shopping done. Where are the shoes, bags, clothes and accessories? The fact that this holiday ends the next day saddened a part of me.

A few of us woke up to do the last bit in HKG. While some laze and slept more. We attacked roast pork, goose and duck! Did a bit of walking at Times Square and Sogo at Causeway Bay. Pretty crowded as it was a Sunday. Hunted for last minute to-gets at Watsons. Finally, I caught sight of shoes and a bag I want to get! No size for one, but got a pair of very-me-coloured pump. Uber got what he wanted too! Went walking in between streets and saw earrings that Kat will love! Time flies and it was time to prepare for farewell. My friends had earlier flight time, so I had to see them off before making my wait and way into sandland. It was hard to bid farewell to these familiar faces, voices and laughter. Till we meet again, my dears!

Hong Kong - A food and party paradise! Recommended if you are looking for a getaway with friends who do not mind long hours of roaming, who can eat and drink! Transport is efficient. Communication in Cantonese will be very useful though English and Mandarin is not of a problem.

Special thanks to Benny, for getting the hotel reservations done, boys to commit to this trip, organising the start to the end of the trip, a great job done, "Legendary Ordidu!". Casey, for getting the links (Tiki) for reservations, Tiki, for being such a great host and the rest for being there.

For photos, pls refer to Bibi's face book or catch a glimpse of some on blog!

Little Joys of Life

2008-05-05T23:16:00.002+04:00

Slow down! Stop! Pause! Indulge!
Have you been missing out the little joys of life?
Simple and microscopic things, have you even been noticing them?
Be it the living or non-living, do you realise they exist?

You may have a bad day, the worst day, these little joys are there to comfort.

Little Joys of Life, simple yet precious.
They do not fail to cheer you on in their own ways.
Little Joys of Life, momentarily yet memorable.
They do play a role in our every day lives.

You do not have to look or seek hard.
Just follow that heart of yours.
There must be little joys of life to keep you alive!

Little Joys of Life,
They transform frowns to smiles,
Tears to giggles and laughter,
Anger to tranquillity.
Little Joys of Life,
Have you been missing yours?

When?

2008-05-03T19:38:00.004+04:00

As the sun rises and sets,
The clouds change their forms,
The moon changes its shape,
And stars take turns to blink.

The claws of the past won't let go.
The pains of before bleeds on.
The beats of the present lost.
The forwards of the future locked.

Paths are there,
Doors are open,
Blinded is one,
Locked and sealed it seems.

Just that one move,
If not now, when?
If not now, will there be another?
There are pauses to consider.

When will it be,
Let there be courage.
When will it be,
Let it be it.

When will it be the last?
When will it lead to that stop?
When will one know if it's right?
When will it be it?

MIA?

2008-05-03T19:19:00.002+04:00

Hi, for those who have been wondering how busy I am...why I been missing in action... I was drowned, with matters!
Not been in best of luck as yet. Hoping, wishing upon the stars that things will be better. It's not easy to be heartless or shall I say be emotionally hardened. Anyway, to move forward for self, I guess being a little selfish is a need. When will life ever start for me if I...... so.... well.....

For now, I have been sick for a few days. Nothing new in Dubai.. I think I am allergic to this place! Been like a little baby, all I could do was, sleep, eat, poopoo - not that I want to, medicine popping and the cycle repeats.... The pain in tumtum attacks are horrifying. Faintful events initially, now slightly better. I am hoping I don't have to visit the hospital again. Yewwwww... be it the stool samples I have to give or the nurses and doctors I have to face! However, I really managed to sleep a lot these few days. The medicine was that magical, puts Bibi to zzzz-land!

Will update soon with the latest trip to Hong kong... for now is get well soon to me!

ROME

2008-04-19T22:16:00.005+04:00

ROMA

I managed to capture moments in ROMA once again. For those who do not know, I lost the pictures taken in Dec 2005! With great fun company, I managed to revisit the Colosseum and Trevi Fountain!

The weather was nice enough for cuddly couples...*tsk*...Windy, cool, with rain drops at the later part of the evening. Rome is the capital city of Italy, usually filled with locals and tourists. The busy streets make it a challenge to cross the roads. Er, yes, there are pedestrian's crossings but Italians are great "F1s" behind the wheels! So do be very careful!

Before the sun goes to sleep, we hurried to the Colosseum, Anfiteatro Flavio or Colosseo. On the way, we took snapshots of the ruins, speak of history which I can never put it down in words. Grabbed a beer with the boys and enjoyed the colours of the changing skies. Of course, I did skip along like I always do! We were taking shots in front of the Colosseum when one "look-like-it" professional photographer offered to take shots for us. WALA! He did it with such ease and angle! Thank you stranger! From then, we tried mastering his skill and capture a few more. Near to the same effect but not quite there!

We walked to the Trevi Fountain, Fontana di Trevi, mesmerising and most ambitious fountain in Rome. Coin throwing by tourists is a usual thing. Not this time for us, too crowded! We had to squeeze through little corners just to get pictures taken. I got my fridge magnets of the Colosseum and Trevi. Just in case, this is my last visit to Rome.

It started to drizzle, our energy level dropped to red zone. We had to stop for refueling! There are many cafes and restaurants along the streets. Very typical in Italy. We chose one that few have been before. The waiters there, speak English, are jovial and comical! Had a tough time deciding on pasta or pizza! In the end, thin crust pizza was it! With the cold weather, red wine was the perfect company! The tiramisu - too good!

What say you after long walks in the cold, good food at the end? We slept through in the bus on the way back to the hotel. Crashed landing!

If you want a comfortable holiday in Rome, April through June is nice. Summer hits from July to September. Must tries - pizza, pasta, hot chocolate, espresso and tiramisu! Wines are too many to choose from! People watching is great too! Shall skip the details. For you to find out! ROMAnce is always in ROMA!

A Day Without Meow...

2008-04-16T21:11:00.003+04:00

After a few days and nights with Kat around, I kinda got used to the lively house! She is not around today, without a housemate for a day makes a difference this time. With my ex-housemate, even if she is around, we both tend to be on our own. So life at home was pretty much of a lonely world. Kat brought colours, laughter and life! I wonder if my neighbours noticed the "noise" we both generate when present.
I did what I wanted to do today, not 100% but at least my grooming part is done. The unsightly regrowth is now covered with my chosen colour! The worries of turning into a "desert ninjaress" was unnecessary. Juliet, the hairdresser, did not look impressive, however, after a discussion, I realised she understood what I want without difficulties! Thanks Juliet!
Was too lazy to travel to a big supermarket, popped in to a grocery shop to get a few general items, juices, cereals, cabbage and the sinful tortilla chips. Well with Kat around, I feel more like it to buy food items, more like a home.
Got to retire to bed for now, heading to Rome (indirectly to Milan first). I really hope to have a good one. Tiredness is still with me. I need to get out of it! Fixing myself is such a task. Till next bloggie, I do hope I have interesting Roma to share!

Tiredness or Burnt-Out?

2008-04-15T13:17:00.004+04:00

Lately been feeling strange. Tiredness suddenly becomes a noun I have to deal with. A noun I struggled explaining to people. Tiredness prolonged is fatigue? I guess I am in that zone. In a way, I stopped enjoying what I do. Everything just paused. All I want to do is rest, doing nothing. Not even going out. What is happening to me? I googled and found the following.

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/sleepproblems/tiredness.aspx

It becomes pretty alarming for me. Maybe all this while, I have not been taking good care. Oh well... Stubborn Bibi, what's new?

It well could be burnt-out.
Definition of burnt-out: exhausted as a result of longtime stress.
Anyway, if you happen to have the following warning signs, you know you need a change before it worsens.

1.Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
2.Anger at those making demands
3.Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
4.Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
5.A sense of being besieged
6.Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
7.Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbances
8.Weight loss or gain
9.Sleeplessness and depression
10.Shortness of breath
11.Suspiciousness
12.Feelings of helplessness
13.Increased degree of risk taking

We all feel tired once in awhile. We all need a break. Have you been feeling like I do? Time for a slight change in order to enjoy life yeah?

For me now, I guess I have to learn to deal with it. Being based here does not help. I have myself to deal with! I wonder why I feel so tired, physically and emotionally. Could be the job getting into me... Press on Bibi! You can do it!
Looking forward to a good break! Counting down...

Moving On

2008-04-14T00:37:00.003+04:00

Moving on.

It's not just about it, is it?

On-going recovering, not?

The pains that we are so used to.

What's there for us to look into?

The world is big.

Just how can we not dig?

Choices for new beginnings.

What are your feelings?

The shadows overpowered.

The future of the promised.

Moving on.

Can it be as light as feathers?

Or just tonnes over shoulders?

It can be easy to many,

Is it for you and me?

The cage that you hate,

Sometimes is yet just a shelter.

Those magical moments.

Will it resurface for a moment?

Loving it, yet not,

Missing it, yet not.

Moving on.

Life is a long travelled path.

With doors to lead to unseen.

The big waves come,

Will you let it sit and be done?

Engines stalled.

Replacement called.

What shall be, shall be,

Can that be just you and me?

Leaning upon hopes and dreams.

What's ours in time to be?

Needing a break

2008-04-13T13:20:00.002+04:00

Was solo in Mauritius once again.
Just barely 11 hours there on that beautiful island. With people of smiles! I took a short walk along the beach, it was sunny and very windy. Sudden rush of thoughts came drowning my very tired mind, heart and soul. I felt the strong need for a good break at such a place. Looking at the waves, soaking into the surroundings. Took the last beach chair and had a good view of the happenings that afternoon. When will I be that someone on the beach with no worries and having a good time!!!
Let the sky, sea and sand take over... let me breathe, let me just be me.
Few hours flies and I left to fly back into sandland. Was really tired. Managed to catch my little naps to make up 6 hours of sleep. I think I am still in debt though. This morning, I cooked chicken curry for Kat, filled our tumz tumz with it. Guess will be another relaxing home day for us. Tonight I have to struggle with decision once again. To go or not to go. It's such a routine for me.
Needing a break, soon very soon, will be catching the action in HKG with a bunch of mates. I miss all of them! Guess breaks are important for each and everyone of us just to keep sane! Keeping in touch with reality and self....

Homely feel...

2008-04-10T03:58:00.003+04:00

I was out with my flatmate, Katheryn, I was pretty much tired from the sleepless nights, however, we made our way to meet her darling and two other Singaporeans on visit.
"The Terrace", sitting at part of Park Hyatt and the creek, is a really cool chill out place. Perfect for the weather in Dubai now. Friends and drinks, chats and laughters somehow made me forget a little of those thoughts. New friends, David and Colin, are pretty funny guys. Chatted about work and realise the world is really small. They happen to know my secondary school mate, and some other common friends in the same line. This is not the first time realising it. Small world, everyone seems to be connected somehow.
We chatted with lingo from back home. Some of which was so missed and forgotten, the sudden use of them brought laughters and a at home feel. Plus the mentioning of local food, which Katheryn and I have been blabbering about. I miss home! That very much. Anyway, we had just a drink or two and headed back home. Of course, not forgetting to keep in touch via MSN. Immediate adding of contacts, just in case these visitors come back into Dubai again! Nudge... M. Ice Mint the next time, please!
A distant from home... A world apart... However, it warms me, just to know the world is not that big afterall! I am still in reach to people I know! Till the next time, let the homely feel stay for awhile... just awhile more....

The Time Has Come

2008-04-09T10:49:00.005+04:00

When the name popped, a part started drowning.
A rush of everything from the past running.
The need of an immediate reaction, to share with someone.
Not that it will disappear but at least not alone.

Legs went weak, hands tremble, heart aches.
Not about the feelings but the hurt kicks.
How not to feel, what not to be?
The reply was needed for a closure finally.

Anger unavoided as time chosen was yet another.
To think positive, execution followed by celebration?
Was it on purpose? How evil can that be of the other?
Racing against the time, that final lap to next destination.

Ouch, it hurts, like those needles on bones.
Sob, it leads, to events of the dones and undones.
Shrugs, it pauses, like a captured life confused in a cage.
Tears, it rolls, to release those ugly hurts and rage.

What has gone wrong?
What was right?
Who created it right?
Who caused it wrong?

Bleeding love, set free like a dove.
Bleeding heart, tied down like a knot.
Feeling light, spirits high like a top.
Feeling tight, choked up like a chute.

No matter, it is history.
No matter, it is reality.
Now or never, hoping pain is not forever.
Yearning for the next, downing that fear is a bitch.

Whatever it takes, brave on.
Even if no one cares, move on.
Against all odds.
Fight all thoughts.

The time has come...

Seeking

2008-04-08T11:04:00.003+04:00

It has been so long ever since I sat down and reflect on the recent events. Suddenly I felt the need to seek for understanding. Ask me how I feel now, I cannot really describe. Ask me why I feel this way now, I am speechless. SHRUGS. I wonder why I feel so lost.
I am a distance away from everything, everyone. My timing for work is not fixed. My timing for sleep and meals, chaos. Friends who know, some totally understand, they do not expect my immediate response, nor my presence at times. Others seem to expect more from me. I cannot reach out to others like before. All I can do is be an email away, sms, msn, or use whatever means of communication. I will not know when others are feeling down and their needs unless I am being "informed". I can only be updated with life of others and their progress through some sort of "telecast". At times, I feel helpless. It saddens me... as much as I want to reach out... buts...

My solo life, will others really understand? Do others see it? Do they know how it feels to be away from home, family and friends? Do they know how helpless I can be at times? Do they know me at all?

Seeking
Seeking to be understood,
Seeking to be felt.
Seeking for comfort,
Seeking for rest.
Seeking a life,
Seeking a place.
Seeking...

Girliez

2008-04-07T14:36:00.002+04:00

Laughters after laughters. Rattling from events to events, about people to people and sharing heart to heart matters. Had a long but good catch up with my girliez at base, at mine's, finally some changes to a not so home to a home. Thanks to my new flatmate, life is less lonely, at least I know someone is here for me now. There is more life for now. Did she move in too late? Will she stop me from leaving? Guess not... for nothing is permanent here.

Thanks girliez for making my days and nights less lonely, with less messy tots.

Ronan Keating - Iris

2008-03-29T21:11:00.001+04:00

Taken in Parts of Dubai, the beautiful sides of it.

Comfort Zone

2008-03-29T01:21:00.003+04:00

Was just chatting with a colleague of mine at base. News of my leaving seem to travel faster than expected. She said a few things that are the same of my thoughts. It gets onto our nerves not having cafes that we can chill out at, party places we can feel home with, eating and lifestyle are just not the same. Friends come and go here, guess even relationships, as many are here temporary. Single ones party, hang out with a common group of friends or stay home. Not much excitement, not much to look forward to. Attached ones, being showered with care and love, tend to stay longer. Someone to share the ups and downs and more to look forward to. Being more lucky, some settled down here. Very few we figured out.

"What are you going to do next?" This question is an unkonown one ever since I started out here. Few ideas here and there, however, not definite. The comfort zone has already settled in for us here. Having our days off to oursleves and not to worry about meeting the same people, facing the ugly ones every now and then. We still get excitement as we move from place to place with this job. The comfort zone of doing what we are doing, facing what we deal with... to start somewhere, sometime, somehow once again - means to restart from stretch! Ouch! The thought of this puts us both into silence and shrugs.

Then again, I shared how I decided to give up things I love and pursued one of my dreams, here. Ambitions - two fulfilled, what's next? Now for me, my next pursue is an unknown. How lost can one be without a goal? A career next is probably not a dream but something I have to face in reality. One can never always run with dreams, can we? Maybe is time, for me to set another dream to chase? It gets tiring, really, to go all out in chasing what you want. It is all worthwhile though, no regrets. Running over the comfort zone to get into a new beginning is never easy. However, staying at our own comfort zone makes life dull, is it not?

Comfort zone, is yours a happy one?

Seeking, seeking, seeking...

Sick n Solo

2008-03-27T17:56:00.002+04:00

Once again, Bibi is sick and doing solo. Felt I made a mistake by reporting to work. First I met a friend of mine before reporting who said I should have called in sick. Next when I entered the room, this air of total strangers and "noses up in the sky" filled it all up. In my head, "OHOH, this is going to be darn boring!" True enough, I guess I was the only "joker" and "smiley" around, despite the fact we mentioned that we should all smile to make everyone's day!

Reached VIE, it's beautiful, cold and gave that romantic touch! I was stuck with the decision of going out alone or stay in to try recover my "quacking self". Decisions decisions... well staying in for health is better than getting more sick on the return sector. I don't want to be stuck on unfamiliar grounds!

My cough is going crazy on me. Either it goes on silent mode, putting me to trust that I am recovering. Then suddenly it will go into wulala mode! Continuous, till a point I feel kinda breathless. Food inputs are just for routine sake. Nothing seems to hit my tastebud. Guess the nasal path is affected already. The "clouded" drums and the difficulty to "pop"!

Arghhh!!! I just want to have a good mum mum and orh orh!

Fog

2008-03-25T01:53:00.003+04:00

Everything carries uncertainty.
The smell of the most familiar,
The people around, seem all distant.
The delays continue.

Vision of a blur.
There may be a rainbow,
There may be sunshine.
The fog persists.

When will the fog clear?
That no one knows.
Fog comes and stays,
Till it decides to go away.

Thoughts, feelings and senses stirred.
May be temporary or for long.
It all takes time.
Time will set skies clear.

How is the weather there for you?
May sunshine, rain, snow and all that is normal,
Be the kind of weather for you.

Fog, to go, to be gone...
With time, just time...

Not home! Not in Singapore!

2008-03-24T00:11:00.003+04:00

I had to do this... For those who really really don't know, I am not in home, not in Singapore. I am based right now in Dubai. I repeat, I am not home for good as yet! This may sound very unfriendly but I really cannot take it!
Friendster profile is there, details are there, comments from friends tell even more that I am missed from home.
"Are you back in SG?" Repeatedly on and off in friendster's messages - sad to say, yes he is on my list, has access to my profile.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DUHHHHHH!!! Pple wake up the idea!!!" - was of course my reply, once again. (Almost monthly I have the same inbox and sent messages from this same person) This time more unfriendly though with the ending.
"Wow why so fierce. Its just a casual msg why so fed up. Having a bad time serving pple on board there ah???"
"It is clearly stated," was my reply. His reply was a long explanation of people putting fake profile etc. My reply, a long one too. Further explained that I am not one of those who plays with facts on profile. My dear friends, I don't, I am transparent. Nothing to hide. Of course I added, my comments by friends who are missing me, asking when I am going back already "hint" if not clarify that I am not in SG! If not, why would anyone ask when I will be back?
Arghhhh, I am already homesick. Pretty bad state, now with this, it just messes me up totally. Anger, sadness? I don't know. I just snapped! On the other hand, I am feeling bad. Maybe he don't have to be sensitive, don't know what I am going through. However, how many times must I repeat myself? How many times must one ask if I am back? Not his fault, probably this time, he asked at the wrong time, used the wrong way or it was just me being really upset for being far away from home. Then again, there is such thing as common sense, no? I will gladly announce my arrival into SG when I am back for good. And of course update my profile accordingly.
Sorry to this friend of mine if I sounded that unfriendly. Right now, I am just on that thin red line, already trying my best to complete what I have set for self before I head home for good. Very homesick due to many events. I am almost lost with my well-being and so on and forth. I just seek for some understanding and comfort, sometimes, I don't even know what I need to feel ok.

Soon friends, soon... It will be, I am home for good! Please bear with me for these few months.
Let me bury myself now... just let me sleep... I just want to sleep this off....

New Flatmate

2008-03-23T14:43:00.002+04:00

She is pretty with long straight hair, big almond eyes and a sweet smile. Hold guys, she is attached! Sorry! Met her finally yesterday late noon. Now that she is here, hopefully things get better for me. Feeling a bit more home at base. Though I know she is not going to be in the house all the time - reason being, her South African boyfriend is my neighbour! How sweet to see couples like them in the building.

We chatted for hours along with our "menthols", yep, it is a S apartment, so welcome to our world! Was surprised that I became a topic in the building some times. Though I am already staying very low profile. Guess there are not many to mention, as many pioneers of this building have left the company or moved to others.
Of course then came along the topic BGR. Fret yes and not! "Why are you single still?"
This question seems to be the most familiar for the past month. Placing me in a position which I can hardly describe.
"Have not met the right one?" This is usually my answer with a question mark at the end too. I am really starting to wonder. Maybe I am tired of being single as well. Fret not! Singlehood is a world different from being attached.
This month for me has been a "confessions flooded" one. Still, single shall be will be for now. Who knows. If things really happen, I do hope is my last. I am tired either ways. HAHAHAHA.
New flatmate even proposed a plan to hook me up with her boyfriend's mate. Ah, this is getting out of hand! She is now off to Seoul, and she promised to bring me back my Kimchi! Till my next get together with this sweet pretty young thing... ooops she makes me feel older and yep, I have a little sister in da house!

Finally!

2008-03-22T06:55:00.003+04:00

Been 5 days... did a tiring trip. I really feel like a big balloon now. Finally back into sandland, back to reality and me time.
However, am really glad to see some close friends of mine getting on well. They have been a rainbow in this lonely world of mine. Wished time could have stopped there and then, well, more to come, I hope!
Trip was pretty smooth. Nothing much to complain this time. Heard of a marriage proposal my colleague was sharing. His girlfriend is one of the luckiest! It was the most thoughtful one I have heard so far. Bless them! It just touches the heart of mine. Love is still around, but sad to say, in the presence of others, hahaha. That thought of, awwww, why not me, will it happen to me? I told him, his proposal shall be the benchmark of mine. Sigh... Nevertheless, I am happy for him.
Finally for me to have me time... finally some time to settle AOBs... OH.. forgot to add, thanks to that someone who went through the trouble and gotten me two of those KM's CD collection!

Katie Melua - Blame it on the moon

2008-03-17T00:22:00.001+04:00

Something new for me. Her voice and the piano...

Too Much Love Will Kill You

2008-03-17T00:02:00.001+04:00

Queen + Paul Rodgers with Katie Melua.
I fell for this song when I heard it at first. With her voice, it just brings it to another world. A "TD" song, close to my heart.

Psst... video not sync well from the middle but listen to her...

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:51:00.001+04:00

Simple yet another that touches hearts.

Katie Melua - Faraway Voice (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:46:00.001+04:00

Awwww... talented I must say.

Katie Melua - Piece By Piece (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:42:00.001+04:00

Piece By Piece, can we let go that way?
Yet another song I have been listening to.

Katie Melua - I Cried For You (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:23:00.001+04:00

This song accompanied me through an event...

Katie Melua - Call Off The Search (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:15:00.001+04:00

One of the many I have been listening to.

Katie Melua - What I Miss About You (live AVO Session)

2008-03-16T23:13:00.001+04:00

Listen to her again... speechless, addicted, more?

Katie Melua - The Closest Thing to Crazy

2008-03-16T22:59:00.001+04:00

The lyrics hit you?

Carbon copies?

2008-03-15T14:30:00.002+04:00

Been years, I wrote one on "Cc" years back. Yet it is funny that now I am away from home, it is still happening. This time, different copies, near but far. I won't say much about it. Probably I am too sensitive. However, I was only brought to attention by others.
It's of course people's choice to do what they want, dress how they like. However when it gets too alike step by step, that feeling of being carbonised.... arghhh I won't know how to describe. Own style don't change isn't it? When it changes and looks so familiar, there's a question of, "Is, was that your style?"
I am not trying to say I have style but I do what I am comfortable with. People who know me recognise it pretty well. I am feeling so.... speechless. The sight of that copy just make me sick. A gradual or sudden change from a different platform, world and style. When your character don't carry that look, you kinda look really strange. When you don't speak that language of style, you look as if you are trying to be someone else, or are you on wannabe?

Stay where you belong, you look better with just being yourself.

Hahaha, or is it time for me to modify mine, add ons, minus offs? I just want to stay me. Just me.

"Unlockable"

2008-03-11T23:26:00.008+04:00

Driving through the whole night long, Trying to figure out what's right and wrong. Is tough to say yes or no, When the breaks are still on no-go. Living a world away, Many things do sway. Words unspoken and actions needed, Not possible unless enabled. Things that are mysterious, Draw the minds of curious. Many of the unpredictables, Surface to knock on ables. Thoughts that swim, Pops right to the brim. Subject-verb agreement, A question of own judgement. Tests taken so far, Did not come on par. Results of those taken, Many are without token. Fears of the invisible, Are not at all erasable. What then is capable, To unlock the "unlockable"?

ToLeRaNcE

2008-03-11T02:30:00.002+04:00

Tolerance is such an individual thing isn't it?
Recent events that surrounded me near and far, have kind of surprised me. Some of us has such low tolerance while others remain "untouchable" no matter what happens. We all deal with different work, people, things, environment, mental, physical and emotional issues. Sometimes we are forced to tolerate. At times, we willingly push our tolerance level to the maximum. It is such a wonder too, that some people has high tolerance level with certain issues but will blow their top at the smallest issues. Guess all these do make the world a more exciting and complicated one.
What is the limit then that we should apply? By stepping back at times, you get attacked further. By not being tolerant, you create scenarios that are irreversible at times. We often put up more with events that are more signicficant to us, or people who we care about.
Age does matter too, doesn't it? Younger ones, usually act like mines on fields, without warning, they explode. Matured ones who has seen, been there, done that, put thoughts to their acts. Therefore, tolerance level of the older ones are normally pitched at higher grounds.
What then is yours on the various aspects of life? Mine? Hahaha. In certain aspects, it has already gone beyond limits, categorise like "dangerous goods", either explosive or have exploded. Other aspects, I have grown to tolerate more, learning the wonders of my own capability to keep the endurance level high up!
You may be surprised with your own limits of tolerance at each different end - give some thoughts to it and keep discovering!

Trying

2008-03-05T16:41:00.007+04:00

Knowing these tracks lead to heartaches,
You still got on the train.
Heading to the heartaching pains.
Trying that long way ahead,
Home is all that is in the head.

Laying in a room miles away,
Day times are bad, night times are worse.
Hoping that you can get home soon.
Not feel like a stanger, in another world.

The places you want to be, you know you can't go.

The moments of magic, are just too short.

The people you miss, you miss them much.

You don't want to be on the run feeling this way.

Everything is in slow motion, no matter what you do, is like running on still waters.

You can't do a thing,
from where you are right now.
While after while,
Miles after miles,
Will you ever get back home?

Trying to get back, get back to where you are,

Trying to get back, get back to you.

Thin red line

2008-02-27T18:32:00.003+04:00

Thin red line, is yours in line?

It pushes or pulls you from one side to the other.

Which side would you rather?

The thinning of that line, that gets real fine.

Hanging in there, not knowing where.

Pushing it away, pulling it no way.

Thin red line, is yours doing fine?

Pains I am Used To

2008-02-26T21:57:00.005+04:00

Pains, mental, emotional, physical, any of these you are experiencing?The three categories have been with me, tagging along, sometimes they surface in a more solid form. How do I deal with them? Hee, I choose to recognise them, provide solutions, or simply ignore them.

Mentally, things that are stressing me hunt me, things I want to forget, floating like clouds I can never get rid. Of course, some are beyond my control. It's a matter of how strong I can fight in my state of mind. Being homesick, is it a state of mental pain?

Emotionally, one of the toughest for me. Being "emo, emorer and emorest", I am at my weakest most of the times. Fighting the battle in a solo state. Game over? Tried trying. Game over again? Tried trying again. It goes on, part of life. It helps each to grow. I guess I am in that state of not being able to feel in certain aspects. *laughs* Being away from home, I know those who care worry, hope the best for me. Me being me, I seldom confide in people. I believe in solving my own instead of adding to other's. Is that being independent? Of course, there are times, I really wish there is a soulmate to share my ups and downs. The soulmate - still in the midst of fog. *shrugs* Or maybe never going to be there... My heart goes out to those I miss back home too. Sometimes, the missing goes beyond control and pain. As much as I want to be there for many of them, all I can do is be here as much as they are for me. Thanks to technology, distance is not total silence. However, that lack of something is always in the air.

Physically, my back problem is causing limited movements, restricted routines these recent few times. After work, I simply feel the pain and strain. I insist till now not to visit the doctor for I fear the outcome and I am stone stubborn. With my work schedule that is coming up in March, it seems to be encouraging me to go for a good visit. I can forsee the consequences. Ouch-me-Ouch. Laying down in bed with my lappie is the best I can live on now.

Pains I am used to, how long can I bear with all?
Signs of me giving up ringing, waving and waking me up.
I guess this entry is really transparent, showing the other side of the cheerful me. No worries all, Bibi can do it, if she wants to! Just an outlet here to pour for I am not in a good state for now, just temporary.
Life is short, moments gone, moments to become.
Pains I am used to, go and come.

Fading

2008-02-24T02:30:00.005+04:00

The rainbow colours, fading.

The sound of music, fading.

The painted pictures, fading.

All that were there, fading.

Energy to survive, fading.

Energy to revive, fading.

Energy for drive, fading.

All that was there, fading.

That figure in that shadow, fading.

That familiar voice, fading.

That fond touch, fading.

All that were there, fading.

Emptiness of everything surfacing,

Filled with tinted colouring.

What is it becoming,

When all of everthing is fading?

MSN is a bitch!

2008-02-22T09:01:00.002+04:00

I could not log onto MSN after a few hours of my lalaland. I cannot believe this is happening again. I could not even access it through www.ebuddy.com or www.meebo.com! What is happening here? Am I really that down with luck?
Just a note to vent.....................!!!!!!!!!!!! AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH BIATCH BOTCH!

Solo

2008-02-22T01:24:00.002+04:00

Here I am again, solo, after struggling to sleep, work and smile. The struggle to sleep was due to my stuffy nose and that irritable throat. Not getting the hours again, I had to go to work sleepy. Dragged myself to draw on my "must-smile-at-work" face, I finally reported. The people I met at work this time was not too bad. Except for one fellow colleague who tries to act busy and a rude "E.T." Acting busy was not something I could tolerate at work this time. I put my foot down and "requested" him to work. I shall spare the details but I was glad I voiced out in a professional manner, yeshhhhhh, and with a smile. Rude "E.T." was not in my control. I don't speak his language, I am not directly or indirectly the cause of it. He just had to accept the fact of his poor plannng!
I dozed off while I made my way to the resting nest and for my first dose of "need", after a long half day. Friends from home started to go home, went on dates, when I started work. They should all be sleeping with sweet dreams now. In a few hours, they will be awake and I will probably crash in this big comfy bed with six pillows! Pillows that are so fluffy and soft! That sounds good but for a sleepless baby like me, it just brings me comfort as I solo away in another foreign land. Now I am with my lappie, seeking comfort in the pillows and my dosage of "need" continues.
Solo days and nights have become a part of my life. Just hoping days of being so solo will end soon, real soon....

Longing

2008-02-20T15:21:00.003+04:00

I can hardly describe my feelings ever since I came back to base. I cannot categorise it. That sadness hidden but not totally. That longing keeps churning in me madly. The lonely me, the me with me. Just me?
Memories of the times back home keep flashing and brought me smiles. Those people, events and places, I keep them in mind and heart. They are the sunshines of my life. That longing to be back in their arms is my worst craving in life!
I keep longing for that comfort I can seek from no where and no one else. I keep longing for that safe and real environment I can be in. Oh no, am I real here or just wasting my time trying hard to be as real as possible?
Positive, be positive, see positive, think positive! How positive can one be when all that surrounds you is empty, without the substance that keeps you going?
I really think it is high time for me to be home - a place I can be me, just me..... I don't want to miss so many people, things and events that mark good memories. Am I missing out on too much, too many?

Longing...

What can I do with this longing?

How long can I keep waiting?

Longing for all, screaming!!!

Longing, it is hurting.

Longing...

Everything-Wrong...

2008-02-17T02:35:00.003+04:00

Bad day happens to everyone, it just did for me.
I was given a choice not to come to London - however, the management always has "ThEiR reasons" to reject my swapS for duties. My transport was late, causing me to rush for the initial briefing. Nevermind, I checked who I was going to work with, and great 6th sense told me, "OH-OH...", of course, I was proven right from the very beginning! Colleagues make the environment or destroy it. Arghhh. That was not all. The people I had to deal with were unreasonable and unhappy due to mishandling from other departments. Some requests were not within my control! Of course, I could understand some must be drained from the hours of travelling, others with little ones must be dry on energy. However, there should always be respect and mannerism plus social ettiquette. Arghhh. I was amazed by how some people can ask for favours as if they were giving instructions or commands! This and that, now, now and now! Best of all, no thank you at the end of it all.
I was super duper-est patient and smiled till the end, telling myself, it's just a job. Looked forward to rest well in the hotel as I arrived into London. Guess what? Made to wait was ok. However, request for a S-room was rejected with attitude from a rude receptionist! I was so near to bursting all my anger kept from beginning of the day. Came into the room, saw that big sign, "NS-room, recovery fee of 150 euros will be charged for S-ing in the room."
What did I do? A lousy and bad day at work plus a NS-room? I seek peace in the CR. However, it is so irritating, I have to space out the timing of my need!
Oh why, oh why, everything went wrong, so so not in place!!!
I need to find peace in the CR again after this. I cannot believe this! I so want to cry!

One never left me

2008-02-16T11:09:00.003+04:00

My world - filled with emotions and events.

Some proud to mention, others nots.

Some unforgiving, others stay in memories.

A world I have been sharing with many others.

Some left, others stay for years.

One never left me, even when I ran and hid with tears.

Events that pushed, pulled, changed and built me.

All became and becoming a part of me.

My loves motivated, encouraged and supported me.

All hoped and hoping the growth in me.

One never left me, even when growth stopped within me.

The worries caused seems endless.

The support given is endless.

The love that envelopes it all - speechless.

One never left me - priceless.

Reality Bites

2008-02-15T10:42:00.002+04:00

Back once again to the place I call Sandland. Reality biting hard. My rewards back home left me unwilling to turn to reality. My loves back home make it most difficult to say goodbye.

The number of people I met I kind of lost count. From those that I see once a year, to those I met for the first time - welcome to the family! Time flies real and fast as we gather as a family. The growth of the children is the best evidence of how a year has gone by. The elderly aged gracefully but repeating the same old questions each time I see them - guess their hopes for me are still hanging high. This time, I really don't know how to answer them. I don't see myself getting attach in anyway and anytime soon. All I can use as excuse is - I have no time, met no one of good qualities.

The gatherings I had, mostly parties - full of drama - highs and lows. Seeing the friends I heart moving on fine, puts my mind to some ease.

Now back to work and reality, clinging on to the will power of better health, diet and lifestyle.
Miss lonely Bibi - ouch, reality bites!

True Truth

2008-02-12T22:09:00.001+04:00

Truth hurts at times. True truth cuts even deeper and stay in minds.

Baggages of the past brought to present. Not being kind to the living present.

Acceptance of truth taken bitter. Is there a way to see it better?

Bitterness from learning the truth, a blessing in disguise of the ruth.

Rejection is tough to accept. Isn't that better than a future eject?

True truth tells tales. True truth brings out hidden tales.

No matter how perfect, the fall under the unbearable impact.

Maturity to handle, mindset cannot be in that bundle.

World of different people, there is no uniform liking for maple.

When can one understand, the mind of a different scan?

True truth is always out there. Time will do the declare.

Just like the character of one, time is taken to know the one.

True truth a challenge to face, it is a matter of pace.

Just like the track events, pace is somewhat the crucial vents.

True truth - to face - to pace - or to replace?

Seychelles

2008-02-05T03:40:00.002+04:00

Seychelles - A beautiful place just to relax and chase your stress away. Highly recommended for those who love nothing but the beach. Away from the busy city life, simplicity takes place.
I arrived in the afternoon and having only about 8 hours there, I headed out on the beach just to snap a few shots before the night falls.
The sky - A piece of open art hanging up there. Fluffy clouds as if they were all smiling at me. The sand - Soft and cold sand which cheered my feet up! I am sure if I had more time, I will spend time laying down for a closer conversation with it.
The sea - Different shades of blue, yes, blue! The waters is clear and as waves washed onto the shore and away, it kind of took some of my thoughts away! The combination of the sky, sand and sea took my breath away, wishing I could spend more time there with someone close. How about a group getaway? Or even a romantic time for a few days?
As time clicked fast, I had my dinner and an advice to all, have seafood when you are at such places! No regrets! Of course, I cannot say it was fantastic. The lifestyle of the people there, slow, stress free and carefree! What came as a big surprise was that the resort kept tortoises that enormous - they look more like dinosaurs to me. Seeing the few slow moving ones in their compound slowed time down a little too.
I left the place at night, a part of me longed for Seychelles more. Finally, the long yearned to see and be at - Seychelles....

Negatives

2008-01-31T03:40:00.000+04:00

My out of order states are getting onto my nerves. All that is in my head now equates to NegativeSssssssss.
After my disappointed trip to Milan, I got back and could not make it to Perth. Guess the cold weather and the sleep or no sleep at ungodly timing caused everything to come down on me. Had fever on and off and now that is better, I am starting to sneeze. Had to take the drowsy medication to make myself sleep in awhile.
My resolution of a healthy diet and sleeping pattern is really in a big mess. I either really eat unhealthy stuff and feel hungry after that or out of boredom stuffed myself with excess food. At some other times, I don't eat at all but take on drinks too much for my empty stomach to handle. No wonder my weight is not of my ideal... good reflection at least. Ballooning is one of the after effect of such. How irritating can this be. I just want to lead a normal healthy life! No discipline plus environment and work timings - ah!!! Which to handle first?!?
Things around me too - not in good order. My schedule for February is disrupted due to the inefficiency of people in the company. Shall not go through the ordeal of describing in details. In short, the inefficiency, inaccuracy, improper management, incorrect protocols, unresponsive systems created all the inconveniences for many of those like me!
Right, I am starting to feel the effect of the tiny yellow pill... my next entry - Positives?

Oh negatives, please do not eat me up.
Oh negatives, you kill my senses out.
Please - not up but out!

When are we complete?

2008-01-24T17:26:00.000+04:00

When are we complete? Do you feel the fullness in life now? Or is there something missing in your life?

A close buddy of mine is recently pretty upset. Yes, it's once again BGR that caused emotions to twirl and swirl. Like ice creams, it's pretty awesome to look at a ice cream cone formed nicely but as it melts away, it creates such a mess. The need for tissue to clean up. The need to wash hands to get the sticky feeling off.
Many times, we do not understand why people want to get into a relationship when they are not confident to even behold it for long. The sad part is, when they decide to let go - they become heartless, not even an effort to feel the pain that pierce through the other. Then again, without falling and pain, we may not learn how it feels. Life is just as such isn't it? The pains in life keeps us awake and allows us to be on our toes every now and then. What don't kill you makes you stronger.
We ask also why people we deem to have good qualities to be attached, single for a long time. Not taking interest at all in relationships. Experiences of the past could be one of the very valid reason. Especially when bad experiences remind you of that pain that you have to go through. The number of attempts which proved to be all painful. People do avoid getting into such mess because of the fears and reality bites.
Another friend of mine mentioned this. We are never complete unless we have family, friends and that someone special. Most of the times, the singles will say, "Friends are all we need..."
It's pretty true, however, as life stages go on, friends move on, singles remain where they stop. There and then, the loneliness will slowly creep in like claws of silent nights.

When are we complete? Guess it's up to an individual to define. There are people who can live life and term it complete with family and friends or just with self. We are all different. But for those who are emotionally inclined, when is completion ever a beginning and end? Will being complete equates to the happiness that pillars your world? What makes you complete then?

Bad days

2008-01-23T13:10:00.000+04:00

Everyone has their bad days I guess. I just had mine. It all started well beginning this month when I had the opportunity to visit Milan over a four days period. However, it started out wrong. From the people I have to travel with to the faulty internet connection I paid for to plans that did not happened.
Italy is a place I always wanted to visit. From Milan, Florence, Pisa, Venice, Rome etc. However, this trip being a great opportunity to roam about, turned out to be a great disappointment with no one to go out with. Not that I cannot do it alone but what's the point without travel mates? I tried walking in the streets and thanks to luck, I was disturb and even pestered by a few boys. I was dressed decently mind you, winter clothes!!! Just luck I guess! Waited this morning as some of us did plan to meet and head to Florence. After 30 minutes of waiting, I made calls. Right guess? Two said they were not feeling well, one just woke up, so in the end, plan cancelled. Me? Back in the room with laptop and hoping the internet connection will not fail me this time.

What else can I do right? Just hope time pass by faster so that my hopes for Milan here will melt away. Guess Italy trip will have to be another time, with friends who will make things more happening and meaningful!

Let me get back on MSN - to stay in touch with the world, not feeling so lonely at least...

Events that started 2008

2008-01-13T10:24:00.000+04:00

Since the beginning of 2008, Winter has been my companion. It will be a friend all the way to FEB I guess! Somehow cold weather does bring on many thoughts and the mood for lazing.

Been sleepless most of the times, with funny routines that I cannot seem to avoid. Gets on my nerves really. Discipline for meal times just cannot be right. Either nothing, too little, too much, unhealthy junks or simply crazy good food! Just like my sleep - sleepless or total K.O. sessions once awhile. My resolution for 2008 to kick of healthy does not seem to take place. How irritating can I be to myself? Wanting to lose those "f"!!! Don't know if it's just my disorder or a need to... *B-slap* self!

I just attended a BBQ session/Bday surprise/gathering last night at Dubai Marina. Was a great place to stay at! Reminds me of East Coast Park back home. Probably staying there will make my choice of settlement a different one. Finally caught up with the gang here after approx. two months as I have been away. Lots to catch up on especially things that were happening with friends. One got a girlfriend recently - really happy to see him attached. Others been back from tours and leave. Hmmm, wondering when I will head on to a good holiday with someone at least!Of course, there is GG who had to vent the unlucky events that happened - car accidents! Guess the surprise last night killed the anger off and hopefully will lead on to better luck! Being away from home and having friends to remember your special day warms the heart really. Thanks to those who made it happen for Lyndy and GG, the GOH twins!

Not been partying with the group ever since last October. Wonder when we will be able to gather everyone out to play!

It's a home day for me. Hope to adjust my sleep and diet back to the green zone on the health bar. Till the next... hope those at home had a great weekend!

A StOrY...of "timing"...

2008-01-07T05:42:00.000+04:00

They got to learn about each other in school. He saw her before yet she has no idea how he looks like. Heard of his name, kind of figured out who he is. Chatted on net and were pouring sorrows at the same time. They had never met each other face to face till a vague introduction was made. Nothing was said. Nothing progressed.

She left school first and moved to another stage of her life. Got in touch again but this time something was in spark. However wrong the timing was then, they kind of wanted to figure out if things can be worked out. Times were spent, painted with a picture, a thousand words can never describe. A series of events led to some others. Mostly unpleasant and heartbreaking. He backed out not wanting to make things worse. He took a step forward after some time when she was in a mess. He forwarded, she backed, wanting him to move on better.

Years gone, friendship remained unchanged. Both went through stages of life as per normal. Updating each other once awhile. That special ringing of connection still tingles. The conversations of both seem to have taken warmth, replacing the winter on different parts of the world.

Timing then, it was wrong. Times spent together at present, zero. Distance apart, a fact. Future of both, uncertain. Timing now and next, unknown.

Will they both make it together for the next winter?